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Press button to stop.

30 April 2009, Thursday Leave a comment Go to comments

Today’s post  could be titled “Adventures in transportation (aka : why I absolutely DETEST commuting by public transport)” but I shall go with the former because this post is so overdue anyway and I can’t be fucked to change it.

I hate commuting. I really do.

Driving on Singaporean roads is bad enough, what with the insane-wannabe I’ve-seen-one-too-many-Fast-and-furious-movie-twats tearing up the streets with their “superior” driving skills and pointed lack of regard for safety (theirs AND yours). Then there’s  the blissfully oblivious and spatially unaware soccer moms who drive SUVs large enough to eat your car. Then there’s the lao jiao* drivers who feel that they are entitled to the right of way every time and are always in a rush (in spite of their lao jiao-ness) and to whom the concept of common courtesy is completely alien.

*Lao Jiao – 老鸟 lit; “old bird”, an expression in some Chinese dialects referring to someone who is considered senior or experienced. Not to be confused with Lan Jiao.


Of course, not all Singaporean drivers are like this. There are the courteous, decent people out there who make driving a pleasure. A wave or a nod when I let someone pass can make my day.  It’s the rest of the general population and their ass-hat behavior that gets to me.

But I digress. This is a post about the evils of public transportation (specifically, the unbearable fact that I am forced to stoically endure it for the better part of 2 hours a day).

I think the problem stems from my intense dislike of crowds. which is in turn probably pointedly fueled by my opinion that people in crowds are about as intelligent as cattle (I might post something on mob mentality at a later date if i feel like it) and are just about as effective when it comes to making decisions. This is further aggravated by the fact that the number of elbows and knees in a crowd seems exponentially inverse to the level of intelligence exhibited by aforementioned crowd. The patience level of each crowd also seems to drop as the crowd gets larger, with each individual seeming to think they have anonymity in numbers.

In short, crowds allow people to act like retarded, impatient, inconsiderate jerks and get away with it.

Which brings us back to public transport.

I hate public transportation because it is ALWAYS crowded. Maybe it’s the government’s fault, maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s all the foreign talents flooding our shores, maybe it isn’t. All I know is that out current public transportation system is woefully inadequate.

However. The one thing that irks me the most about public transportation is…

The smell.

Yes. People on the busses and trains smell bad. REALLY bad. (Keep in mind that I sometimes have to spend hours trapped in a classroom with forty or so pubescent-ish boys after they’ve had PE lessons. I think my tolerance of odious odors is quite advanced. But nothing can prepare you for some of the fragrances you encounter in transit. You’d think it would be better in the mornings, with people freshly out of their showers and done with their toilets. Mais non! The stink on the busses in the mornings is almost as tear inducing as pepper spray. And it’s probably worse because you’re tired and still only semi-conscious and it hits you without warning when your defenses are down. Then there’s the “natural” odors… Don’t even get me started on those.

Thank God I’m getting a car soon…

Cheers, Godbless.


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